Rice and Straw

Few halfwits have ever got as high up in government as Jack Straw. In terms of his leanings against Israel, he is a worthy successor to Robin Cook of whom the institutionally Arabist Foreign Office was rightly proud. But at least Cook had intellect. Straw however, is a complete ass. Of all the places in England he could have taken Condi Rice last week, strutting Jack decided to take her to his home constituency of Blackburn, home to the largest Muslim community in Britain.

Not having the sense to think things through, he thought the best thing might be to mimic his boss Tony Blair who last year invited his opposite number, George W, to the local pub in his home constituency of Sedgefield.

So, where Dubya had a jar, Condi got jarred, and instead of beers she got boos; from hordes of Islamic anti-war protestors and supporters of human rights for Taliban fighters in Guantanamo.

At least when he wore glasses, there was some illusion of intelligence. But vanity got the better of our Jack and, in his contacts he now looks as he is: a complete fool.